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Parenting by the Book
By Kevin Mackinnon
Book Reviews
Jul 08, 2008
Sure, I'm a normal parent. I have a 10-year-old son who got to spend Father's Day with me this year doing exactly what I've done every father's day for the last 13 years: announce at a race. The poor kid was so exhausted by the end of day he fell asleep leaning against the barricades at the finish line. I'm such a normal parent that my now-14-year-old daughter had heard so much of my announcing music by the age of seven that she could differentiate Peter Gabriel songs based on which live CD they came from, but hadn't ever heard the song “Puff the Magic Dragon.”  
The kids aren't seeing much normal from mom's end of things, either. They'll come down for breakfast in the morning to find their mother still in her workout clothes, having already finished a swim, bike or run workout and just finishing a second batch of muffins. Not too many kids have a mom who's a world champion triathlete and also manages to bake up a storm almost every day.
So, needless to say, we had a bit of a laugh when Sara Dimerman's book “Am I a Normal Parent: Expert Advice, Parenting Tips, and the Reassurance You've Been Looking For” arrived at the house – we were quite sure that we would fail the survey in the first chapter of the book.
Of course, there's no failing that test – it doesn't take long to realize that “the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours of many parents are universal,” says Dimerman, who founded the Parent Education Resource Centre in Thornhill and has provided counseling services to children, couples and families for more than 20 years. Her book does a great job of reassuring us all that many of the thoughts and feelings we have are completely normal. Throughout the book Dimerman refers to the results of the questionnaire, which was completed by 200 parents across North America. While so many parenting books are focused around kids, this book is truly one that deals with parents and their feelings..
I'll cheat a bit and go right to the final section of the book, where Dimerman outlines her “List of Normal”:
“I have concluded that a normal parent is someone who experiences a host of different emotions, such as frustration, anger, and resentment along with exhilaration, pride, and satisfaction. Normal parents know to expect the unexpected ... A normal parent is vulnerable to the comments and criticisms of others, walks a fine line between being protective and overprotective and worries about being considered neurotic if she leans too much to the 'over' side ... A normal parent often gives in to her child for a few minutes peace and does for her children what she knows they can do for themselves ... Why? Because, according to my 8-year-old daughter's friend, Tyla, above all else, a ‘‘normal parent is someone who loves her child.’’’
Yep, that sounds about right.

• Dimerman, Sara, Am I a Normal Parent: Expert Advice, Parenting Tips, and the Reassurance You've Been Looking For, Hatherleigh Press, New York, 2008.

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